She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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