can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
