Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
