My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
