at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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