Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My dick has a subreddit
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize