the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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