Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
