I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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