Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
