...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
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