Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
