Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
