Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
