CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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