After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize