I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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