I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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