i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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