What did we do last night that was yellow?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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