we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
