I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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