How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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