You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
