Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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