After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
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