one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
handjob tips. give me some.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My feet surprised me
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
