dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
