It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
this will be a night to untag.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
