Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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