the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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