I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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