Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
