Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
