I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you will always have a special place in my vag
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
