Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
