Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
