doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
