I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I FOUND THE LEGS
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
