Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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