OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
