Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My balls are so social today.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
