apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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