Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize