is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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