Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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