The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize