I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
