We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
