if you like me you must not know who I am
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize