Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Oh god it's open bar.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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