Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
