then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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