We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
