HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize