You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
