Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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