Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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