make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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