i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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