I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
