I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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