I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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