my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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