Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The struggles of a small town man whore
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
