Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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